Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

File Under: Humor

Jokes for Nerds: Decrypting Like a Hacker on TV

Decrypt is a silly little Python script that lets you act like a hacker on TV; you know the scenes — a terminal window full of garbage slowly coalesces into a decrypted, er, something, usually just in time to save someone from certain death/ruin.

Perhaps the best part of the Decrypt.py effort from developer Jouke Waleson, is the potential use case: “recover some friend’s hard drive (i.e., he destroyed his mbr). After the “hard” work has been done, act like you are having a hard time and run some of his personal files through this program and ask if he recognizes the content.”

If you’d like to prank a friend, grab the script from GitHub and throw it on a USB stick. Hit play on the video above to see it in action. For some animated GIF demos and more discussion, see the Hacker News page as well.

File Under: Humor, JavaScript

What if Hemingway Wrote JavaScript?

Papa don’t code. Image: Wikimedia.

It’s unlikely Ernest Hemingway would have thought much of programming. Staring at a screen all day hammering out Perl doesn’t seem like something Papa would have enjoyed. A typewriter in the Cuban sun was more Hemingway’s bag.

But what would it have looked like if Hemingway had cracked open Vim and written a few web apps? Angus Croll, an engineer at Twitter, has one answer in a great post that looks at how some famous writers might have written code. Here’s Croll’s take on how Hemingway might have written JavaScript:

Code reduced to its essentials with no word or variable wasted. It’s not fancy; maybe it’s even a little pedantic — but that’s the beauty of Hemingway’s writing. No need for elaborate logic or clever variable names. It’s plain and it’s clear and it does what it has to — and nothing more.

The whole post is funny and well worth a read, particularly if you happen to have come to programming from a background in liberal arts. Other authors Croll covers include Shakespeare, Dickens, Bolaño and my personal favorite, surrealist Andre Breton. Also be sure to check out Croll’s JavaScript blog.

File Under: CSS, Humor, JavaScript

Blow Up the Web With ‘Font Bomb’

Wired.com Font Bombed. Image: Screenshot/Webmonkey.

We’ve already showed you how to turn any webpage into a game of Asteroids; now you can add Font Bomb to the list of ways to destroy text of the web.

Font Bomb is a fun little JavaScript bookmarklet you can use to plant bombs all around a webpage. Just drag the bookmarklet to your bookmarks bar and then head to a page you want to destroy. Click the bookmarklet and then start clicking anywhere on the page to plant bombs.

Then, thanks to a little magic from CSS 2D Transforms, the text starts flying — perfect for a little Friday afternoon amusement. (It’s also not a half-bad way to take out some frustration on trolls: Don’t feed them, just blow up what they wrote and move on.)

Font Bomb was created by Philippe-Antoine Lehoux. The code is available on GitHub (CoffeeScript) and there’s some discussion on Hacker News if you’d like to know more.

File Under: Humor, JavaScript

It Looks Like You’re Trying to Visit a Webpage. Would You Like Help?

Image: Microsoft

Clippy may be dead, but it’s going to be a long time before Microsoft lives him down.

Clippy, whose real name was actually Office Assistant, made his debut in Microsoft Office 97 and quickly became famous for such clever quips as, “It looks like you’re writing a letter, would you like help?”

Since Clippy is long gone — he was removed when Office 2007 shipped — it only makes sense to resurrect him on the web, which is exactly what Clippy.js does. Yes, Clippy.js is “a full JavaScript implementation of Microsoft Agent (aka Clippy and friends), ready to be embedded in any website.”

Technically Clippy was not the only help agent and Clippy.js also supports Merlin (a wizard), Rover (a dog) and Links (cat), though sadly not our favorite, Will (a caricature of William Shakespeare, because inane, intrusive help is so much better when it comes from a poorly drawn Shakespeare).

The Clippy.js script is a “weekend project” by the developers behind Smore. As the Clippy.js website puts it, “our research shows that people love two things: failed Microsoft technologies and obscure JavaScript libraries. Naturally, we decided to combine the two.”

If you want to subject your visitors to Clippy, grab the script from GitHub and scroll through the mock Word document that is the Clippy.js site for details on how to use it. Bonus points if you use some conditional loading to only serve Clippy.js to IE 6 users.

File Under: Humor

Jokes for Nerds: HTML9 Responsive Boilerstrap JS

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If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the endless proliferation of responsive grids, adaptive images, HTML boilerplates, CSS frameworks and JavaScript whirligigs then what you need is the HTML9 Responsive Boilerstrap JS.

To install HTML9 Responsive Boilerstrap JS just “attackclone the grit repo pushmerge, then rubygem the lymphnode js shawarma module — and presto!”

If you’re wondering what H9RBS.js actually is, well, you can abandon any hopes of one day being hip. But if you must know, H9RBS.js is a “flexible, dependency-free, lightweight, device-agnostic, modular, baked-in, component framework MVC library shoelacestrap to help you kickstart your responsive CSS-based app architecture backbone kitchensink tweetybirds.”

The hilarity continues on the official HTML9 Responsive Boilerstrap JS website, and there’s a GitHub repo of course. Check out the issues page (“Need unrealistic micro-benchmarks”).

You can read a bit about what inspired developer Louis Lazaris’ pitch-perfect web development parody over at his site, Impressive Webs.